Uninformed Expectations...

This week, well really this year, has been one of reflection for me. I don’t often sit and ponder on the past. I’m more likely to have the next 6 weeks of life planned out than I am to look back at things I can’t alter or change. Let’s just say its part of my “OCD” tendencies. J I guess the fact that my 10 year high school reunion is quickly approaching has had some affect on this journey down memory lane.

Have you ever had that moment where the thought crosses your mind that life is nothing like you thought it would be? I’m not complaining, for I am TRULY BLESSED, but I’d be lying if I told you that my life is exactly what I pictured it to be when I was younger. To be completely honest, my life is nothing like what I thought it would be. Throughout the last 4 years, a paradigm shift has taken place with my hopes, dreams and priorities. The girl who once wanted to be a prosecuting attorney and put criminals behind bars is now an adult who wishes she could walk away from all responsibilities and sing for a living… (seems kind of backwards doesn’t it!) All of those “goals” I had as a graduating senior are just slight memories. So what happened?

Well, I turned my life over to Jesus completely – 100% holding nothing back – in February of 2007. I was saved as a young teenager, but never really lived the life of a follower of Christ until after college. At some point, every “Christian” makes the decision to be bought in or sold out. The difference is the same as a fan and a follower. I was “bought in” when I earnestly prayed the prayer to ask Jesus into my heart, making me a fan. I “sold out” when I made the conscious decision to live my life in total abandon for what God called me to in this one life, making me a follower of the teachings written in the Word. Am I perfect? Um-No! Do I still sin and make mistakes? Most definitely! I just attempt everyday to get out of bed and do what I can to positively impact the Kingdom. There are days when I feel like thee world is attacking me from all angles and I just want to surrender to the pressure. Then I remember John 16:33, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” As believers, we were never promised an easy road; never promised all joy and no pain; never promised every prayer would have a “yes” answer. To think this is to have uninformed expectations.

At age 28, I have no clue what my future looks like – BUT I do know that I trust the One who has complete control of it. He has allowed old friends to resurface, a change in professional direction, and so much revelation that I cannot quite wrap my mind around what the next 6 months will look like, much less the next 6 years. There are still many things I seek from this life (marriage, children, no debt, and others) but I have chosen to lay it all at the foot of the cross in anticipation of what God has in store for me. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I cannot force my ideal life to happen. I continue to work hard and push forward, all the while begging God to use me in some significant way – significant to the kingdom, not the world. After all – the one scripture that continues to echo in my mind is Philippians 1:6, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you (me), will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

As I’ve rambled here, I hope you’ve been encouraged in some small way. Surely I’m not the only person in the world who feels that I am “in waiting” for what God has planned for this one life He has blessed me with.

Be blessed today!