Where does my help come from?

...I fall to my knees and pray to the Father the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Ephesians 3:14-20 NLT

I can't even begin to explain to you what has taken place in and around me throughout the last 2 weeks. In staff devotions recently, Pastor Gene challenged us to pray the above scripture for 40 days. All I can say is be careful what you ask for. I can admit that the transition to full time ministry has not been an easy one for me. I have struggled to find the balance between "work" and life. Even Jesus took time to be alone, and I can honestly admit I haven't been taking that time. I took this past week off from work and just spent time with friends and family. I made every attempt possible to avoid email and worrying about what was taking place at work. It was nice. More than ever, I feel that there is going to be a new chapter in my life beginning soon. God is preparing me for something, I am just not sure what it is yet. But I believe HIS timing and that HIS will are perfect. Something so interesting happened to me last week that just adds to the speculation about my future. A couple of weeks ago, I was on the verge of breakdown and I just sat and poured out my heart to God. I journaled all these questions that I had about several topics. ***sidenote - I know some people have opinions on asking God questions, but I truly believe God wants to hear me confess that I am upset, hurt, and misunderstanding the world around me.***So, as a staff we have been reading a book entitled RADICAL by David Platt. I kid you not that within the first 5 chapters, just about every question I cried out to God was written in that book and answered. Talk about divine providence! From here, I press on. I continue to read the WORD and soak it all in. I continue to cry out to a HOLY GOD. I continue to walk the path HE has laid before me. HE has called me out and set me apart. Who knows what my future holds? HE does, so its HIM I will follow.