The dreaded "L" word...

I’ve hesitated to address this topic, but with all the discussion occurring around me, might as well step out in faith. First, let me begin by asking for your patience today. I apologize for the potential rambling that may occur in this post. When I start talking about relationships, my mind tends to wander. So, the idea for this blog came up this weekend as I was spending time with my Dad on Father’s Day. There we were, at the Smokies game, just hanging out and a comment is made about fathers being superheroes. My Dad proceeds to make a statement that he is a superhero for putting up with not having grandchildren yet. Now, in case you don’t know my father, he is an incredible man; loved and respected by most that meet him. But he has been itching for grandkids for about 5 years now. I know he’s partially kidding when he picks on me, but I also know that deep down he wants grandchildren while he’s young enough to enjoy them. Usually I brush off the comments, and state that 1. I’m not having children until I am married and 2. I am not old enough for all that yet.
Now, my circle of friends is made of up married people (young and older), single people, divorced people. I’ve watched marriages begin and I’ve seen them end. I’ve learned a lot looking in from the outside. One theme seems to stand out to me. How personally prepared are we as individuals to share our lives with others? Today in my quiet time, I came across a verse in Proverbs that struck a hard blow. Proverbs 24:27 says “Do your planning and prepare your fields before building your house.” How true is it that often we jump into situations before truly preparing ourselves for them? We do not look before we leap. We make decisions based on emotions instead of facts. I have been known to do all of these things; but as I have grown in my faith and my knowledge of Christ, my decision making process has slowed and matured. I now find myself seeking council, from the Lord and from others whom I look up to and respect. I tend to weigh options more carefully. This all flows into my dating life as well (or the lack thereof).

There have been times in my life when I spent my time and energy on people just because they were “there;” BAD IDEA, because I am always the one to get hurt. There have been two men in my life that I can honestly say I was in love with; one I met in college and one since him. There have been several infatuations, but we all know those fade. The reoccurring issue in each “relationship” was that I was going to have to change my beliefs, morals, standards, etc in order for them to work out. Call me stubborn or hard headed, but I was not and am still not willing to do that. I have always believed that love shouldn’t take over life, it should enhance life. I shouldn’t have to change my views on sex, God, family, or anything else in order for someone to love me. I think about how impatient I get being single. The people I went to school with, high school and college, are all getting married and having babies and it’s hard not to feel like I’ve been overlooked or forgotten. Sometimes the bitterness sweeps in and takes over and I begin to feel like I’m unworthy of love and that I somehow missed something on the pathway to where I am. But then I remember that God promises me that He has a plan for my life. There is no way I could be involved in the ministry God allows me to do, work full time, be a mom, be a wife, be a daughter, be a sister and still keep my sanity. I, personally, am just not ready for all that. I hope to be someday. I don’t want to settle for whatever I can find. I want to be with a Man of God; someone who reads his bible and spends time in prayer every day, someone who makes it a priority to be in the House of God every week, someone who wants to serve in the Kingdom. I want a relationship with a man who is an encourager, who doesn’t have to be right all the time, who wants to be used by God. Men like this have to exist somewhere because God created man in His own image. I will be patient and I will wait upon the Lord. He provides for all my needs. I trust Him.

God knew my beginning and He knows my end. I rest in Him, knowing that His plans for me are good. (Jeremiah 29:11). I am learning to find peace during this time in my life. I know that He is using this season to shape me into the woman He wants me to be. Life lessons are being taught through His word, through His prophets, through my worship. I am growing in my faith and in my walk with Him. He's teaching me to be a leader and that He has given me the chance to lead others into His presence. There is no logical reason why the people around me should be following me or listening to a word I say, but God has given me the authority to encourage others and stand in the gap.

Be encouraged where you are in life. May your day be filled with joy and love! Hug someone today :)
Through Him ~BG~